Have you ever thought about thinking itself? Research shows that a healthy adult mind has around 6,200 thoughts every day. That’s about seven thoughts per minute, with all kinds of things floating through our minds constantly, even without us noticing. It can feel like there’s this loud, restless voice inside our heads, eager to assert itself. This inner voice seems to judge everything: “You should do this,” “This is good, that’s bad,” “This is normal, that’s not,” “This is right, that’s wrong.” It’s almost like it’s trying to control our minds, whispering all these judgments and opinions. But what is this voice?
One man started questioning this loud presence inside him. One day, while he was worrying about a difficult situation, he found himself stepping back and observing his thoughts from a distance. Instead of getting lost in worry, he noticed, “Hey, I’m worrying right now.” In that moment, he realized he didn’t have to be consumed by those thoughts. This led him to dive deep into meditation, hoping to find true inner peace by quieting that loud inner voice.
Did he find that peace? Well, he could quiet his mind through meditation, but once back in his daily routine, the voice came back, still trying to take over. But it’s funny how the world often has a way of guiding us when we’re ready to learn. Sometimes, it’s a book, a random encounter, or a life experience that shows us something new. This man, feeling that meditation alone wasn’t enough, went on an unplanned journey, despite everyone around him saying it was dangerous. Through his travels, he learned that life isn’t as risky and chaotic as he’d thought. The people and experiences he encountered on his journey made it richer than he ever could have planned. He realized, “Maybe life can bring me more than I could ever create on my own.”
A friend also introduced him to a book that helped him understand something else: a lot of our mental activity is just our own likes and dislikes playing out. For example, if it’s raining, instead of just noticing the rain, our minds add, “Ugh, why today of all days?” So why do we suffer? We want something we can’t get. We have an idea, and others disagree. We want to succeed at something but fall short. We hope for one outcome but get another. It’s almost as if the mind insists that the world should bend to its preferences, and we believe it.
But think about it — if suffering comes from things not going our way, isn’t that a bit arrogant? The universe has been around for 13.8 billion years, yet here we are, thinking everything should go as we like! Look at the planets orbiting in perfect harmony, seeds growing into trees, or the rain nourishing forests. Even within our bodies, organs and cells work without us consciously controlling them. All these wonders of life happen naturally, beyond our awareness. Yet every day, we’re here, trying to impose our will on life, as if nothing good will happen if we don’t control it all. Is that really a reasonable way to see things?
The man realized that in chasing inner peace, he had to let go of those likes and dislikes, to simply trust life as it flows. Over the next 40 years, he kept practicing this, surrendering to life instead of resisting it. And where did this take him? Despite starting out as an ordinary student, he went on to become a professor, a builder, a programmer, a CEO, the leader of a spiritual community, and a New York Times bestselling author. This man’s name is Michael Singer, and he says, “I don’t know where life is taking me, but the best thing I can do is to let go of trying to control everything and just allow myself to be led.” How does that sound to you?
At first, I thought, “This doesn’t make any sense! Maybe he just got lucky, or he’s naturally talented. That’s why going with the flow worked out for him.” But the more I learned about his life, the more I saw how each event and chance encounter, each moment he let go, led to incredible outcomes. For example, when he was asked to write a paper, offered an unexpected teaching job, invited to build a hut on a friend’s land, asked to lead group classes in prison, or even to host a yoga master — he initially resisted. But he’d already committed to letting go of his preferences and saying “yes” to life, so he embraced every opportunity.
And as these choices added up over time, his life became something he himself could hardly believe. It got me thinking about how to explain this idea of letting go in a relatable way. Think about sports. How do you get better at surfing? By not resisting the waves but instead relaxing and riding them. How do you swim well? By relaxing so you can float naturally. Even in boxing, you don’t land the best punch by tensing up but by staying loose. There’s a pattern here: to excel in any sport, you first learn to let go of tension. Bruce Lee once said something similar, and so did the ancient philosopher Laozi. Laozi taught that a wise life flows like water — yielding and effortless. Despite their different languages and times, they were saying the same thing: surrender to the flow.
Maybe, then, the best way to live a rich, fulfilling life is not by trying to control everything through our likes and dislikes but by surrendering to the flow of life. Michael Singer experienced this kind of surrender firsthand. He says, “When I let go of my preferences, life took care of itself. You can call that power God, Christ, Spirit — whatever you like. But if there’s an invisible hand guiding me, then the best thing I can do is follow it. If I’m always trying to control things with my mind, how will I ever know what life could do for me?” Instead of a life I designed, I found myself surrounded by a life designed for me. All the things I achieved weren’t my doing — they were life’s work. I simply allowed it to unfold.”
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