Everyone experiences happiness and sadness depending on the situation. But if we think about it, it’s a bit strange, isn’t it? We divide our feelings into good and bad as if there's a clear standard defining them. But when someone asks, “What’s that standard?” it’s surprisingly hard to answer. Some might just say, “Well, we feel good in good situations and bad in bad ones—it’s obvious.” But if you go a step further and ask why these emotions feel so “natural,” things get more interesting. For example, spending time with people we like and eating good food makes us feel happy. Conversely, feeling isolated from a group or going through a breakup makes us feel lonely and sad. But why do we feel this way? And why do these feelings seem so automatic? The answers lie in insights from psychology and biology.
In his famous book The Selfish Gene, the biologist Richard Dawkins says that all living beings, including humans, are essentially machines carrying genes. Calling us “machines” might sound harsh, and some people do find this idea unsettling. But he uses this language to emphasize that every living creature, humans included, is “programmed” to protect and pass on its genes. Think about it: the comfort of being with others, the joy from eating delicious food, the loneliness we feel when we’re alone, or the disappointment of failed love—these are all emotions that we’ve come to see as “natural” because they’re tied to survival. For thousands of years, human DNA has been fine-tuned to favor survival traits. High-calorie foods give us energy, so we’re naturally drawn to them, and our brains release hormones that make us feel happy when we eat them. Similarly, in early human societies, sticking together helped us survive. So, when we’re isolated, our brains trigger negative feelings to nudge us toward socializing again.
So, if we’re all “machines carrying genes,” then we’re also under the influence of hormones that regulate our emotions. Psychology gives us a similar perspective. We often ask, “What is happiness?” It’s a question that philosophers have debated for centuries, and people still wonder about it today. A well-known Korean psychology professor, Dr. Seowon Kook, wrote in The Origins of Happiness that “happiness is like a detector that senses when we’re doing well in terms of survival and reproduction.” In other words, emotions like happiness and pleasure are powerful tools to keep us motivated to act in ways that support the survival and transmission of our genes.
So, we can understand that our emotions are closely tied to survival and reproduction. But there’s more to the story. Happiness and pleasure are indeed important—they’re vital emotions for survival. But as society developed and survival became more secure, some people started to chase pleasure and happiness to an extreme. Think about overeating, addiction, gambling, or other activities like excessive gaming. Sure, you might say, “Why not live for these thrilling experiences?” But, unfortunately, the world operates on a natural balance. Pursuing too much pleasure often leads to greater pain afterward. People addicted to gambling, drugs, or other intense thrills often find they can’t feel satisfied with ordinary experiences. After such intense highs, everyday life feels dull, so they keep chasing stronger sensations, and eventually, this cycle leads them down a troubled path. Studies have even shown that pleasure and pain are processed in the same areas of the brain, working as opposites. Think of it as a balance scale—if you tip it too far towards pleasure, it’ll swing back, and sometimes even heavier, toward pain.
Science, religion, and philosophy overlap a lot on this topic. Buddhism talks about this as “the cycle of pleasure and pain.” German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer put it another way: “Life is like a pendulum between boredom and pain.” It’s interesting that these ideas resonate across disciplines. Here’s an example that might sound familiar: when I work on a YouTube video—writing scripts, gathering materials, recording, editing—it can take 10 to 20 hours. While I do enjoy organizing my thoughts, I’d be lying if I said it’s all fun. But once I finish, there’s a sense of satisfaction that’s almost as intense as the effort I put into it. Compare that to watching Netflix or YouTube in bed—it’s comfortable in the moment, but doesn’t offer the same lasting fulfillment.
In fact, the harder we work, the more rewarding the result tends to feel. We live in a time when it’s easier than ever to chase instant pleasures, and while that might sound great, understanding the pleasure-pain mechanism can help us see that constantly seeking easy rewards isn’t as beneficial as it seems. Breaking the habit of quick pleasures and setting meaningful goals—even if it’s tough at first—is a paradoxical yet rewarding way to find deeper satisfaction. If anyone watching this video is struggling with a habit they can’t shake, I hope thinking of this “pleasure-pain scale” will be helpful. Ultimately, all quick pleasures leave behind are emptiness and regret.
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